As if it were your last…

18 Saturday May 2013

Posted by Lisa in Reflections and Musings

For some reason I get really annoyed when I hear people say, “live everyday as if it were your last.” First of all, if I were to do that I’d be morbidly obese. I’d most likely start my day by eating Eggs Benedict with hash browns slathered in hollandaise sauce. I’d drink a big cup of coffee and probably have a donut and then fly to Paris or London and eat some more. Or maybe I’d start by buying a dozen donuts of all variety and take a bite of each one, slowly savoring all those delicious tastes that I usually restrict myself from. I’d still be in my pajamas at this point, most likely eating the donuts in bed. After the donuts I’d go find the perfect brunch spot to have my last Eggs Benedict. I would make sure and ask for extra hollandaise in case they’ve skimped a little. As I write this, I realize I have no idea which brunch place I’d go to for this last meal. I should probably start researching (or rather auditioning) restaurants now to be prepared, or in case I do decide at some point to “live each day as if it were my last.” Currently, I eat oatmeal for breakfast in the hopes of having a more comfortable tomorrow.

In addition to the poor food choices, the urgency of time would most certainly drive me to make rash decisions. I’d feel desperate to experience everything one last time. I can’t be sure what I’d do but anything is possible. I definitely would not go to work. I suppose ideally if you had a job you loved you wouldn’t mind spending your last day working, doing what you usually do, I however am not in this position yet. Does that mean I should quit my job then? This is a scary thought, another reason why living each day as if it were my last doesn’t sound appealing. I’m well aware my job doesn’t pass the “last day of my life” test, but I’m still working that one out.

I wouldn’t be able to go to work anyway because in all reality I’d spend the day telling everyone in my life I love them. I’d go around to each person and tell them all they have meant to me. I’d say heart-felt things and mean them. I might even draw them a picture as a token of my love and something to remember me by. I’d spend the entire day crying and hugging everyone. For this reason living everyday as if it were my last wouldn’t be a good idea either; I’d have permanently puffy “I’ve been crying” eyes. If I were to go around everyday telling everyone I loved them and being as gushy as I know I’d be, I might throw up and so would they. Not everyone can digest that level of sentiment all the time. It reminds me of a story David Sedaris wrote about his mother while she was dying of cancer. He is clearly very close to his family but none of them are prone to expressing it. Given the circumstance, he felt he should try so he said, “I love you” to his mother one night while ending a phone call with her. Her response was, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” It wasn’t something they normally said and he beautifully illustrated the fact that just because it isn’t said doesn’t mean that it isn’t felt.

It’s possible I’m taking the concept of living each day as if it were my last too literally. Perhaps it’s more of a reminder to walk slowly, notice the trees, the people passing by and take the time to smile. Perhaps it suggests a more subtle experience of life. Rather than focusing on the urgency of the senses, maybe it’s a call to rest more and enjoy where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. Seeing the moment with as little judgment as possible and perhaps more love. I know that when I feel loving towards myself, others and my situation, it could very well be my last day on earth and I would be fine with that. All somehow feels complete in the moments when I fail to see the cracks or problems, it feels complete when I am focused on the good. Maybe that’s what those words mean. I suppose I get annoyed by the phrase because deep down I know I spend much of my time thinking about tomorrow, waiting for a better time, a more convenient time or just a happier time. Maybe I get annoyed because it feels like a lot of pressure to live each day as if it were the last. What if I do it wrong?! Or maybe I’m just hesitant to have a good time. It seems to me it’s a state of being rather than any particular activity. Maybe I don’t have to tell everyone I love them everyday but I can do my best to spend more time feeling it.

For Everyone – As promised, something to remember me by.

The Jacarandas

17 Friday May 2013

Posted by Lisa in Nature in the City

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Every spring the Jacaranda trees bloom in LA. When I first moved here they really took me off guard. It was just so shocking to see something so brilliant and beautiful in a place that is usually so dirty. Nobody mentioned that for a few weeks out of each year the city would be bursting with purple! Somehow it felt like a gift just for me. It was then that I started to fall in love with the city and each year they are like a welcomed and comforting visit from that friend who is always such a breath of fresh air. That friend who helps you remember the brightness that is always there and you feel inspired, uplifted and even happy again. I’m reminded that all is well and that just because the Jacaranda looks so unsuspecting for most of the year, doesn’t mean that they don’t have it in them.

Mid-bloom

Old Los Angeles

11 Saturday May 2013

Posted by Lisa in Downtown, Places in the City

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Despite being a major metropolis, living in Los Angeles usually feels more like living in the suburbs. It’s not like New York where you know you are in the city all the time with giant buildings surrounding you, endless aisles of apartment complexes, street vendors selling food and sirens screaming below your window. Most of us live on tree lines streets with parks and little strip malls close by. Because of this Downtown Los Angeles is really exciting to some of us (like myself). It’s urban, there’s history and you feel like you are actually in a city. Things legitimately look old, kind of European and it’s all squished together, layer upon layer, piled on top of itself the way a real city is.

Downtown is the old Los Angeles, the original Los Angeles, the place where it all began. People came with an excitement to build a new city “out west.” It was beautiful and there were fortunes to be made. The first town square was established in 1866 which was eventually named Pershing Square, a square that sits at the heart of downtown today. Eventually trolley lines and street cars opened to offer public transportation to the growing population. Cathedrals, synagogues, hotels, restaurants and schools were built – USC was established in 1880. Downtown was the place to be. At this point the city wasn’t being built around the car yet but by the 1900’s automobiles were on the streets and the great expansion of the city began, eventually dissolving Downtown as the city’s center.

I like to go down there today and imagine what it was like. The night clubs, the theaters, people dressed up to go out to eat, riding the trolley cars or just walking around. From the pictures it looks like it was a beautiful place. There were lots of trees, fancy hotels, shopping districts, a few lakes to walk around and enjoy. I am not en expert on the history and don’t have all the facts for you. The city leads some historic walking tours of Downtown and once I go on one of those I will surely be inspired to report back. Today Downtown is going through a revival. For many years it was (and still kind of is) run down, dirty and not a very safe place to be. That is changing as the artists and the hipsters are making it a more interesting place to be and a place where businesses can make money again. My hope is that what old buildings can be saved will be saved and it will retain much of its original charm. Here are a few of my pictures from my visit to Downtown this weekend. I have a thing for old bricks and windows so you’ll see a lot of that but I tried to capture the colors and sights that I find so different from what I see in other parts of the city. I will continue to post more in Downtown as I am fascinated with its history and all the changes that are being made. You can visit my first post on Downtown for some shots of the Financial District and Pershing Square.